Exes are not always enemies, but that does not mean they should be friends. Catching up and knowing what is happening in your life is not quite normal between exes.
These are signs that your ex is relatively not over you and wants you back but is too afraid to say.
Marriage and family therapist Dr Callisto Adams says exes go through instances where they are angry, doubt themselves or their decisions, miss your relationship, or are scared to move on. All this emotional baggage causes them to frequently come and go in your life.
Sometimes their erratic behaviour and unclear intentions will leave you confused, hurt, and unable to move on.
But remember that just because someone wants you back doesn’t mean they are good for you or that you should reconcile.
Here are 10 signs that your ex wants to reconcile but won’t admit it.
1. They might behave as if nothing happened and you’re on good terms
A typical behaviour of an ex who wants you back but won’t admit it is gaslighting. When they come back, they will try to make it feel like nothing had happened before. In this case, your ex will avoid discussing the breakup.
Also, they won’t even communicate about their feelings or how you’re feeling post-breakup. They will try to twist old situations when you argued. They might try to play the victim and blame you indirectly or directly for the breakup.
2. They are passive-aggressive and give mixed signals
An ex will use their passive-aggressive behaviour to prevent direct communication. Based on my experience, an ex who wants you back but won’t admit it will give you mixed signals. As this research shows, not being able to utter your emotions greatly harms a relationship.
3. They act like they’re still in a relationship with you
They can be warm and cosy, and you can feel like you’re starting a healthy relationship once again. On the contrary, if he refuses to talk about the past or show you development, his intentions are not clear yet. They try to control or prevent you from dating anyone. If that plan doesn’t work, they will try to make you jealous by constantly dragging their new partner into your life.
4. They try so hard to give you a good impression of them
If your ex is trying to show off in front of you and get your attention, that means that they are still interested in you. When they persistently show you how they have changed for good, your ex is trying to win you back. So, if your ex is doing everything they have in hand to impact you positively, then they are trying slowly to come back into your life. They might try to be affectionate, understanding, loving, and supportive to make a good impression.
5. They didn’t delete your pictures on social media
When an ex doesn’t delete the pictures of you on social media after a few months or a year, this means that they can’t let you go. Yet, you should pay attention to whether they approach you or stay silent during this time. You might understand what lies behind their actions only when you reach out to them.
6. They need your attention and validation
When an ex wants you back but won’t admit it, they will constantly seek your attention and validation. If they have a greater ego, they might be holding on to past pain. If your ex wants you back, they will ask for your advice and attention, and will try to give you their attention in return.
7. They still keep in touch with your family and mutual friends
An indirect way or hidden sign that your ex wants you back but won’t admit it is when your ex still hangs out with your entourage. This scientific research has stated that when an ex keeps in touch with your entourage, they want to stay in contact with you. This happens mostly when the two of you were good friends or ended up on good terms.
8. They inform you about their dating life
Your ex will be honest with you about their dating life if they want you back but won’t admit it. They want to let you know indirectly that they still care about your opinion about them and that they still have feelings for you. Hence, you should be careful what type of information they share with you regarding their dating life. If they share intimate details and how they love their ex, they may be trying to get you jealous. They can do it for various reasons, maybe for revenge or to hinder your healing process and keep you from dating other people.
9. They accuse you of not fighting more for the relationship
Usually, a narcissist will want you back in their life, and because of their ego and pride, they will try to play the victim. Especially when they do not have your attention and you are avoiding contact with them, they will blame you. They might not want you back for good, so you need to block them on any platform. Try to focus more on yourself and try to talk with a therapist to heal your emotional wounds.
9. They let you know about their feelings but turn it into a joke
This sign is quite confusing because they will immediately give a different tone to their confession. If you’re still hanging out together or you still interacting with them on social media, they will let you know about their feelings in their way. This means that they might tell you how much they miss you or that it would be lovely to hang out with you.
10. They are there for you in the most difficult situations
They are trying to connect with you on an emotional level. They still have feelings for you but are dwelling on the past and working on their feelings. They are trying to impact you positively, and at the same time, they want to reflect on past mistakes. Your ex tries to be your biggest supporter by asking about your day and showing up at your most important events. They try to be present in your life without crossing your boundaries and respecting you.