How to politely say no to family & friends asking for money

Contents

1. Be straightforward 2. Delay instead of deny 3. Offer non-monetary support 4. Set boundaries 5. Say no and still keep the love

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve gotten that “bros please pick my call” message before.

Or maybe it’s “sis, I no wan disturb you but…” followed by a long story with a bank account number attached.

Now, helping loved ones is not a bad thing. In fact, we’re raised to believe that “if one person makes it, the whole family rises.” But that’s not always the case.

Constantly giving out money when you’re barely balancing your own bills can drain you emotionally and financially.

So how do you say no without burning bridges or being tagged as “stingy”?

1. Be straightforward

You don’t owe everyone a full explanation of your bank balance. When someone asks for money you genuinely can’t give, you can say: “I really wish I could help right now, but I’m not in a position to.”

That’s it. You don’t need to list your expenses or beg for their forgiveness. You’re not wicked; you’re just being real.

2. Delay instead of deny

Sometimes, you want to say no, but you need a softer way to respond. Try: “Let me check what I can do and get back to you.”

This buys you time to decide if and how you want to help. And if the answer is still no? You can return with, “I’ve looked at things, and unfortunately, I still can’t assist at the moment.”

Polite. Clear. No insult.

3. Offer non-monetary support

Just because you can’t send cash doesn’t mean you’re useless. You can show up in other ways. Maybe help them polish their CV, connect them with someone hiring, or send them a side hustle opportunity you saw online. Even just checking in regularly or being a listening ear can go a long way.

4. Set boundaries

There are some people who only reach out when they need money. No greetings, no “how are you,” just straight to business. You’re not an ATM. In these cases, you can politely say no and be firm about it. You can say: “I’ve noticed this has become a regular thing. I really want to be there for you, but I can’t keep this up.”

You’re not rejecting them, you’re rejecting the habit.

5. Say no and still keep the love

Sometimes, we avoid saying no because we think it will ruin relationships. But love and respect should survive boundaries. Say “no” with kindness. People may not like it, but they’ll respect it.

In the end, being generous is beautiful. But being broke and burnt out because you couldn’t say no? That’s dangerous. You can’t help others if you’re drowning. You’re not wicked for choosing peace. You’re not selfish for protecting your wallet.

In this economy, even kindness needs a budget. Say no, softly. Say no, lovingly. But please, learn to say no.