Proverbs are often passed down as nuggets of wisdom — short sayings meant to guide us through life’s challenges.
But not all advice stands the test of time. Some proverbs, especially when taken literally or out of context, can actually reinforce harmful mindsets or discourage critical thinking.
Here are five South African proverbs that, while culturally rich, may offer questionable advice in today’s world.
1. “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
While this proverb highlights the importance of community and inclusion, it can also be romanticizing destructive behavior. It implies that when people are excluded, their violence is justified. In reality, not all pain gives someone the right to harm others — emotionally or otherwise.
2. “You strike a woman, you strike a rock.” (“Wathint’ abafazi, wathint’ imbokodo”)
This famous anti-apartheid slogan was meant to celebrate the strength of women. But today, it can be misused to glorify endurance of suffering, suggesting women should be unbreakable no matter what. That mindset can enable burnout, abuse, or emotional neglect.
3. “A man who uses force is afraid of reasoning.”
It’s meant to warn against violence — which is good. But in the wrong context, it can also be used to shame assertiveness. Not all strong reactions or boundaries are “fear.” Some situations require forceful responses — especially when safety is at stake.
4. “Do not call the forest that shelters you a jungle.”
This suggests you should always stay grateful or silent, even in uncomfortable or harmful environments. But sometimes the “forest” is a toxic family, job, or system — and staying quiet might keep you stuck instead of helping you grow.
5. “Even the best cooking pot will not produce food.”
The meaning: tools and potential are nothing without action. Fair enough — but it can be used to shame people who are struggling, especially in poor or disadvantaged communities. In modern contexts, it risks promoting grind culture over rest, systemic awareness, or empathy.
Final thoughts:
Proverbs carry cultural weight, but they’re not always one-size-fits-all. It’s okay to question them — especially when they don’t serve your mental health, safety, or growth.
