Are you letting your ex control your life even after parting ways with them?
It could be a toxic loop where you could be emotionally manipulated into rekindling a relationship or wherein you reconsider inviting them back into your lives during a vulnerable time.
However, this could be a wrong move, as it can slow down your healing process and make you feel bitter for a longer time.
Once you end things, you might start to idealize your relationship and find reasons to contact your ex-partners.
1. Toxic pattern
Going back to your ex every time you’re in trouble or feeling low becomes an unhealthy pattern. You’ll find yourself always needing their support and validation, becoming dependent on your ex to lift you up, cheer you on, and support you. Sooner or later, it becomes a routine. If they don’t respond or react the way you want, it will hurt you. By staying in regular contact with your ex, you’ll find yourself stuck in the same place you were before, hindering your personal growth.
2. Emotional disturbance
One minute, you’ll think of all the reasons to dislike your ex; the next minute, you’ll find reasons to be with them. Staying in contact with your ex can cause emotional turmoil, making you feel a constant rush of conflicting emotions. After a breakup, everyone knows they need to move on, and they do everything in their power to move forward. But when you’re in contact with your ex, you can never fully move past them, leaving you emotionally dependent on them.
3. Disrupts the healing process
After a breakup, you enter a no-contact zone to focus more on yourself, striving to live a better and happier life. However, once you contact your ex, you fall into a pit of darkness. It’s like a game of snakes and ladders—you’re back to square one. Communication with your ex can delay closure, forcing you to restart your healing process.
4. False hope
Once you’re in contact with your ex, you expect more attention, more apologies, and softer words from them. When you talk to your ex regularly, you become delusional, thinking they’ve changed, they’re better, and they won’t hurt you again. But that’s not true; you’re picturing your ex as a better person just so you can get back together. This creates false hope for a better future.
5. Unnecessary drama
If you’re in a new relationship and still in contact with your ex, it will create drama. You’re putting your current relationship at risk. Your weak moments will create unnecessary chaos in your life, so it’s better to avoid being in contact with your ex.
