The news shouldn’t have upset me as much as it did, but today I am devastated. My mother sent me a message this morning: “Your brother and his wife have decided to part ways. Thing have not been well between them for a while now…”
My little brother in Australia! His wife has family there to support her. He is all alone. Exactly like I was nine yeas ago when I packed my panel van and left my first wife. I reacted in the only way I know – I immediately took to my computer and wrote him a letter. And, perhaps, to myself.
“Mom just let me know about the difficult thing you going through,” I typed. “It’s terribly painful and it takes a long time to get over it – I know, I’ve been there too. I’m really thinking of you and I’m here to help with anything you need.
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“It’s a difficult time, but you are not alone. Remember, you have family, even if we are on the other side of the world. We all love you very much.
“It’s vital not to become bitter. It’s not a war. Try to resolve things as peacefully and as amicably as possible. Don’t badmouth anyone. Splitting up doesn’t mean that people were not good for each other for many years.
“The most important thing now is to look at yourself and your state of mind. It’s one of those things that happen. It hurts so badly, I know. But it happens. Don’t lose yourself. Believe in yourself and stay proud. It’s not a matter of winning or losing – it’s just one of those inexplicable paths that life takes.
“And as inappropriate as it may seem to say it at this stage, keep your faith in the beauty of love. It’s not something that any of us can ever survive without.
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“Remember that you’re still a father. A great one – you have always been an exceptionally good dad. Insist on completely equal parenting. None of this nonsense of seeing your own offspring every other weekend – you are no less of a parent than any mother.
“Look after her. Be generous. But not too generous. I was, and I regret it.”
He didn’t reply. I know he was crying. Sometimes brothers know such things – even if they live in different countries.
